Road Trip (Part 2)

The trip is currently in jeopardy - there's a problem with my passport, and although steps are being taken to try and ensure I receive it before we leave, there's currently no guarantee, unless I decide to fork out a further £47, which is slightly rude when I've already spent £49 so far.

There's a dilemma - pay £47 for peace of mine or don't pay and then spend the whole week waiting to see if my passport arrives on time.....

Road Trip (Part 1)

This time in a little under two weeks I'll be somewhere in France, hooning through the coutnryside or maybe down a mountain road on the back of a motorbike, with (hopefully) not a care in the world. The idea is basically to head south until we run out of ground, and then basically head along whatever road looks like fun at the time, ending up back on a ferry headed for Blighty.

So far we've managed to cobble together a very rough plan as to where we're heading within France, and we know when we're going. We've also managed to sort out most of the kit for the trip, like spare mobiles, MP3 players, that sort of thing. We're still in need of a comms system so we can communicate whilst on the bike and listen to music from the iPod, and possibly a few bits of vital safety equipment, but we're basically there. Oh, and we're short one passport too, although it should arrive before we go...

Expect a full report on the trip in a few weeks.

Shark attack

I watched a program on TV recently about Sharks. It was coming live from somewhere or other in the States, and part of the program involved a couple of blokes in a 'cage', trying to find out how hard a great white shark can bite. I put the word cage in inverted commas on the basis that it wasn't so much a cage, more a couple of bits of metal with some gaping holes in the side which were more than large enough to allow the great whites swimming feet away to get inside.

So anyway, the guys in the cage basically have a stick with a pressure gauge on the end, and they were trying to put the stick in the mouth of a fairly hefty great white. Now, my first thought at seeing this was "wouldn't it make great telly if that fella's arm got bitten off". Now, I'm starting to wonder whether thinking something like that makes me a psycho (see Nightmares, below for more information on that) or whether every bloke watching the program thought the same thing. I hope it's the second.....

I hope that (at least some of) my posts will leave you thinking "huh!", and on that note, I'll finish off by mentioning that sharks have two penises, which are permanently erect. Gits.

¿Dónde está mi escritorio?

I’ve just realised that I haven’t seen my desk for a while now. I’m pretty sure it’s here somewhere, underneath the papers, cups, packets of salt and pepper, cutlery, toys, books, electronic gadgets and a whole wealth of other stuff that currently covers my workspace. True, I probably need to have a bit of a tidy, but I’m starting to think that maybe I’m spending too long in the office.




I’m tempted to do some sort of experiment to see if I can live in the office for a week, ordering food from Bluewater over the internet and drinking the awful coffee from the vending machine. I could claim for a hell of a lot of overtime…

Oh, and the more astute amongst you may notice the keyboards in the two pictures are different - that's beacause I have so much work to do I need two PC's on my desk...

Nightmares

It’s been a good few weeks since I made my first post on here, and since then I’ve managed to not post a single word. Some might put it down to laziness, others perhaps a complete lack of any creative thoughts over the last few weeks, or some may feel it’s because it’s hard to post to your blog when your boss sits behind you. I’m going to go with the laziness thing.

As I write this I’m sat in the office, trying very hard not to fall asleep. It’s not that I’m bored, it’s more the fact I’m exhausted through lack of sleep, the main cause of this insomnia seeming to be a lot of nightmares in recent weeks. I decided to have a quick poke around on Google to see if I could find out what could be causing me to have all these nightmares, and stumbled upon the following:

Characteristics of the frequent nightmare sufferer.

Previous research has found that persons who experience frequent nightmares score highly on scales that measure psychotic symptomatology. Neurotic symptoms have also been implicated as correlates of nightmare frequency…..

So, in other words, I’m a neurotic psychotic. It’s quite a harsh diagnosis I feel, but then I suppose I would feel hard done by and perhaps just a little angry, after all, I’m psychotic and neurotic.

Intro

Before I start pouring my innermost (and for the most thought very strange) thoughts out for the world to see, I'll start by introducing myself and letting you know a little bit about me.

My name's Rich, I live in the south east of England, I'm approaching 30 at about the same rate that my hairline is approaching the back of my head, and I work as an analyst for a third party administrator for mortgages, which is easily as boring as it sounds.

I'm anticipating that this blog will become an outlet for the strange, funny, hideously self-loathing, happy, sad and somewhat scary thoughts that form the veritable minefield that is my mind, I'm hoping that you'll find the majority of the content entertaining, or at the very least, worth reading when you've got a spare five minutes and can't think of anything constuctive to do.

I'd just like to say hi and thanks to those closest to me who have to suffer me on a a regular basis, and who don't have the luxury of clicking File > Close when they've had enough. Without you guys, I'm lost.

More soon.