Janet Street Porter

Why? What possible purpose does she serve? Answers in the comments please...

Plane stupid

Easyjet have had a bright idea - they're currently trying to sort out their planes so that you can use your mobile during a flight.

Couple of things: firstly, that means that either Easyjet have magic planes that stay up in the air with skyhooks, or all that stuff about mobiles causing planes' instruments to go wrong is bollocks. I don't think Easyjet have magic planes.

Secondly, they think this is a reason to travel with them. Really? So I can fly to somewhere nice and sunny and spend the flight in relative peace (assuming someone's stowed any children in the hold), or I can spend the flight listening to some ignorant toss-bag bellowing in to his phone...? Sign me up for tickets on the second flight. The thing is too that although this is maybe bearable on a short hop to Amsterdam, once Easyjet start doing this the other airlines are going to follow suit. Who's up for an 8 hour flight to New York with everyone using their phones?

Expect instances of air rage to increase in the next couple of years....

Ick, ick and thrice ick

I don't often worry about the state of the world but this week there have been three somewhat disturbing news stories which just make me think there's something very wrong with people.

The first one that caught my eye was about a man who, having been banned from every field in Britain after he was caught having sex with a horse called Molly, was caught hanging around stables in the early hours.

Then comes the story of the three 20 year old guys in the US who saw a picture of a girl who died in a motorcycle accident and, having decided she was pretty, went and tried to dig her up so they could have sex with her. They even bought condoms (I'm assuming they wanted to ensure the corpse didn't get pregnant and give birth to little dead zombie babies).

Then there's the story of the man who covered himself in olive oil, rolled around in a load of oats and then got horses to lick him clean. Just no! No no no!!

All of these stories have been reported in the press and can be found online with a quick search of Google news, so I'm not making this shit up. I mean, what is wrong with these freaks? What makes someone think "I know, I'm going to go and fuck a horse this morning"?

Anyone?

1 year old

I've just realised my blog is a year old - how the hell I've managed to keep enough interest to actually write this shit, let alone keep a regular reader base is beyond me. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reads this drivel, here's to another year!

Petrol stations and fire probably don't mix

I was at the petrol station yesterday and noticed something a little worrying. As far as I could tell, the only firefighting equipment available should soemthing catch alight were two small fire extinguishers and a bucket of sand. Now, call me odd if you like, but if I was in a petrol station which was on fire, and I had a choice between having it away on my toes or standing there and attempting to tackle the blaze with a small fire extinguisher and a bucket of sand I know which I'd be doing.

Modern technology

Modern technology's great sometimes isn't it. The screenshot below is real by the way, I haven't doctored it in any way.