The bastard Frosties advert and bloody kid are driving me nuts....

It's stuck in my head,
it's stuck in my head,
I really wish that little fucker was dead,
maybe killed in his bed,
with an axe to the head,
or strapped to the back of an out of control bobsled,
I wish he was dead,
I wish he was dead,
I wish he was deeeeeeead
Frosties, they're sheeeeeite!

Caps lock - a pain in the arse

Has anyone else ever noticed just how stupid the placement of the Caps Lock key is on your standard Qwerty keyboard? It's right above the shift and below the Tab key, which is possibly the most inconvenient place anyone could possibly have put it. How many times during your working day do you find yourself deleting a few lines of text because it's all in upper case?

I'm fairly certain that whoever designed the keyboards put it there for a reason, and I'm fairly convinced the reason is that they were the anti-Christ.

I'm all for ripping the sodding thing out of my keybOARD AND THROWING IT IN THE BIN. oH, BUGGER!

Don't label Chavs

According to the Metro today Chavs have taken to wearing the price labels on clothes they wear. Apparently, it serves a number of purposes, although there is a slight flaw in the chavvy logic – see if you can spot it.

Apparently, the first purpose of wearing a large cardboard tag on a bit of string is so that people can see how much your Reebok tracksuit and baseball cap cost, and the second is so that it looks like you nicked it.

Actually there are two flaws. Firstly, is anyone really going to be impressed you can afford a pair of £20 tracky bottoms, and secondly, if it’s supposed to make it look like you stole the stuff in the first place, surely it doesn’t matter how much they cost if you want people to think you can’t afford it anyway.

I’m really hoping that loads of Chavs gets arrested for shoplifting in Bluewater as they walk around with price labels on their clothes. If I see it happen, I’ll video it and post it on Youtube.

Bash for cash

You may have seen in the news recently that shortly Channel Four will be having what it refers to as 'wank week'. As part of 'wank week', Channel Four will be televising a group masturbation session which is being held in London for charity.

Basically this event involves lots of people turning up at a hall, making a small donation for charity, and maybe going for the endurance world record (currently somewhere in the region of eight and a half hours).

There are to be three rooms according to one report I read, one for men, one for ladies, and a unisex room. So that'll be one room full of ladies, and two rooms full of blokes then.

It's the cleaners I feel sorry for. "Brenda! We need more mops!"