Some people should get out more

I was on a website the other day which had a load of questions fans of 'Friends' had asked someone who worked on the show. One of the questions asked was 'Is Rachel a Green or a Greene?'.

I have a question. Who cares? Why does anyone need to know this? I mean, I know a lot of useless shit about lots of stuff, but even I don't care whether Rachel's surname ends with an 'e' or not.

I'm not being funny, but imagine you have an oportunity to ask the creators of Friends one question - anything you like. You could ask about the writing, secrets from behind the scenes, anything. But no, you ask if Rachel's a Greene or a Green. Idiots.

Iin case you're that demented and sad that you want to know, it's Green, without an 'e'.

I should point out that the only reason I know that is because I checked - I actually do research things for this blog occasionally.

If I really wanted to scare you with completely useless knowledge I could share the things I know about Howard from the Halifax adverts. I won't though, for two reasons: firstly, it's really useless information, and secondly, there's an outside chance that Howard could sue me for libel as at least one bit of information is unverified, although if it's true it's very funny.

The most disgusting thing ever. Ever.

My landlord is selling the house I live in, and obviously has to get surveyors and bearded blokes with self-propelling pencils who know lots about bricks to come and look at the house.  Not a problem, I left my bedroom door unlocked and made sure I hadn't left any money, expensive computer equipment or Class A drugs lying around and off I went to work.  My room's fairly tidy so I've no reason to not let people in there for whatever reason.  I've even had girls in there. 

 

So anyway, the next day I got home and was chatting to my housemate (let's call him "Bob"), who mentioned the previous day had been somewhat interesting.  It transpires that the landlord had come around with the various blokes and a mate of his to look around the house.  They disappeared upstairs to look at housemate number 3's room, and called for "Bob" to come up and have a look.

 

The guys had gone in to housemate number 3's room and discovered it to be slightly untidy.  Slightly untidy in the same way a city dump might be described as slightly untidy.  They discovered the following:

 

• 8 months worth of empty beer cans
• Hundreds of empty cigarette packets
• Carrier bags full (as in completely full and plural) of cigarette butts
• Carrier bags full of vomit
• Carrier bags full of shit
• All the missing plates, bowls, cuttlery, glasses, mugs etc. which have gone missing over the last few months

Also, the mattress for the bed was half on the bed, half off, torn, ripped, burnt with cigarettes....  You can't even see the carpet.

You may think I'm exaggerating in the name of artistic license but I can assure you I'm not.  Seriously, you can't make this up.  I live with Sidcup's own Mr Treebus. 

I'm off to be sick in a plastic carrier bag....

Formatting

Oh, and sorry for the shite formatting below - this is exactly why I don't
use Hotmail unless I really have to....

Oh Christ, that's the wrong jar!

Bloody hell, can you believe I've been writing this thing for two years?
Jesus....

BTW, I've been having problems with my Email so if this has been posted
multiple times I apologise, it's really not my fault. Anyway.....

I'm going to try and make more of an effort to write more regularly on this
here blog, as I fully acknowledge I've been a bit lax recently. I would
come up with an excuse, but it's mainly because fundamentally I'm a lazy
bastard. I'm also going to try and write more than a couple of hundred
words in each post.

That said, it's not always easy - not having a TV doesn't help as I now have
to actively go and find out what's been going on in the world, as opposed to
flicking to Sky News. I suppose this could be useful from a "getting
information from more than one source and making my own decisions about
what's true and what's media bullshit" perspective, but as I already
mentioned, I'm a lazy bastard so I'll probably just get all my news from Sky
News online. Oh, and Popbitch, natch.

Anyway, enough, on with todays post.

I was making a chilli last night, and as always I laid all my ingredients
out before I began to make sure I had everything I need. One quick dash to
the corner shop to buy some rice later I had everything required. I checked
the various spice jars were sufficiently full and decided the cayenne pepper
jar was running a bit low. Luckily I had a refill, so I emptied a refill
packet in to the jar and carried on preparing dinner.

Everything was going fine until I started adding the various spices and
peppers and things. I'd already added two large forkfulls of lazy chillis
and a good amount of hot chilli powder, and decided to add some hot paprika
and the cayenne pepper. It was only after I'd added the cayenne pepper that
I noticed the cayenne pepper jar still seemed a bit empty. It was also
around then that I noticed the hot paprika jar seemed more full than I
remembered it being.

Oh shit, thought I, I know what I've done here.

I had managed to add the cayenne pepper refill to the wrong jar, and then
proceeded to add a LOT of the stuff thinking it was paprika, and then some
more based on the usual amount of cayenne pepper I'd use.

Needless to say the chilli was awesome, if a little hotter than I usually
would make. My co-workers aren't impressed though.