Look - a Moose!

I’m struggling to think of anything to write today. It’s been so long since my last post you’d think I’d have pages worth of material stored in my somewhat strange brain. Let’s face it, there’s so much happening at the moment – the government is telling us that we need to teach kids to read by telling them how letters sound (no, really) whilst at the same time telling us that it’s ok to carry up to seven grams of cocaine because you can class that as a personal stash (no, really). Also, a survey has just been completed that says one in ten men have paid for sex sometime in their lives (try ten in ten, find me one man who’s managed to get a woman in to bed without buying them a drink, dinner or paying for a cab and I’ll be impressed). Oh, and apparently truffles taste like romping in a field, according to the host of the cookery program that’s on in the background at the moment.

One very random thing I learnt today is that (apparently) it is illegal in Alaska to look at a moose from an aeroplane or other flying vehicle. I’ve always been a fan of these sorts of crazy laws, and I’m always tempted to test them. For example, if you did look at a moose from a plane in Alaska, would the local constabulary be waiting for you with some nice steel bracelets on the runway? Would the case get to court? Would the judge convict? Obviously if I was the judge I’d send the or bastard up on the charge straight to jail for a few months and then laugh about it afterwards down the pub, but I’m obviously not completely sane.

I believe there’s an equally strange law in the UK that says you’re allowed to shoot Scotsmen on Clapham Common as long as you use a long-bow. Now this one is really quite interesting. On the one hand, you’ve committed murder, which is very illegal, but on the other hand, by law, you were perfectly entitled to do so. I’m willing to bet my laptop that if you tried to get away with that one you’d get sent straight down, unless the judge was a Scot-hating duffer with a few loose screws, or me.

In case you’re wondering at this point why I found out that it’s illegal to look at a moose from a plane in Alaska, I was actually trying to find the shortest distance between Russia and America. I couldn’t remember the distance in miles (it’s something crazy like eight) but ended up getting sidetracked, which is quite common for me.

I also discovered recently that Microsoft have found a new way to cause system administrators headaches. They’ve launched a web-based version of Messenger, which is useful in as much as the IT department at work haven’t yet worked out I can use it (mind you, they also haven’t cottoned on the fact that there’s generally a USB hard disk sitting on my desk), but it’s sure to open up all sorts of security holes before long. If you happen to read about a large British bank being compromised by online instant messaging software, the chances are I’ll be involved in some way (and posting about it from a computer in the dole office).