Beerkegikistan

There’s a thing on telly at the moment about islands being created by volcanic eruptions in the sea. Which got me thinking, there must be loads of little islands out there which aren’t owned by anyone, so why not go and claim one for myself and have my own country?

I guess some countries might try and claim they already own all those little islands out there on some sort of technicality, but I reckon if you just went and found one, stuck a flag in it and set up shop, you could probably get away with it, especially if it’s a small place tucked out the way.

Obviously you’d want somewhere with a decent location (near the equator is probably preferable to somewhere near a polar ice cap) so you could get a decent tourist trade going, and you’d need somewhere big enough to fit a hotel, a pub, and a 24 hour shop, maybe somewhere about the size of the Isle of Wight, but I’m sure if you looked hard enough you’d find one.

It wouldn’t be all fun and games obviously. For a start, you’d be King, which requires at least a little work. You’d have to have some laws I suppose, like no alcohol to under 16’s, making beards illegal, that sort of thing, and you’d probably have to go around waving at people occasionally and having Tony Blair over for a game of Ker-Plunk, but I’m sure you’d still have ample time for enjoying your island.

Obviously you’d also need a token army, maybe a few kids with AK-47’s and a bloke in a dinghy with a potato gun – nothing particularly threatening but just enough to let other countries know you’re prepared to fight if they get too close.

All I need now is a map, and a flag.